Interview

Interviewer: Hello, I have a few questions regarding the happenings around here in Verona. There have been several deaths around here, first Mercutio then Tybalt, Romeo being banished and now your daughter, do think they are connected?

Lord Capulet: No, they are all non related events, except for the Mercutio and Tybalt death, Romeo deserved to be banished. My daughter’s death was untimely, she must have gotten that terrible flu that’s going around and just passed away in her sleep, it’s too bad she didn’t marry Paris before she died, would have been nice to have a new son in law.

Interviewer: Now it’s been debated over how she died, some say it was this “flu” but I believe it could have been suicide since the death of Tybalt really shook her up and she had been angry about marrying Paris but gave in at the last minute about it, does this raise any suspicions in the Capulet household?

Lord Capulet: No, I do not believe any of your stupid superstitions, I know she wanted to marry Paris because he is such a great man of course she would want him. Yes she was stirred because of Tybalts death but not enough to kill herself. This is none of your business so stop snooping around!

Interviewer: Fair enough, do you feel Prince was fair to banish Romeo? Or do you think he should have given a harsher punishment?

Lord Capulet: Prince was being generous, Romeo killed Tybalt, he deserves to die, I’m going to hunt him down and avenge Tybalts death. Juliet wasn’t wanting me to kill him but she’s dead so who cares?

Interviewer: Are these deaths making the feud between you and the Montague worse?

Lord Capulet: They help fuel the fire; I hate the Montagues with a passion. To me, they are nothing more than a bunch of hooligans. I’m glad we took out their biggest fighter, and us Capulets are all fighters, it only makes sense we keep fighting until they are all gone, then the world can be at peace.

Interviewer: Okay, final question, so what have you done to help the economy in Verona?

Lord Capulet: Oh well I’m glad you asked, I recently removed a tax on cabbage sales so its now free to sell them in the streets, I heard the people really wanted this tax removed so I brought it up on council and I’m looking at an increase of cabbage in our markets. Currently I’m working on trying to open up new jobs, I’ve been hiring street people to make anonymous assaults on the Montagues. It’s been working quite well, I’ve been watching as more Montague followers have converted to our market, business has never been better!

RIP

SUCK ON THAT MONTAGUES!!

“There lies the man, slain by young Romeo, that slew thy kinsman, brave mercutio” Rest in peace Tybalt, you were a noble man; I wish you could have been my own son, instead of my dumbass daughter. She refuses to marry prince, another man I would proudly call my son, but I shouldn’t worry, they are going to get married. I’m glad you showed the Montagues you weren’t just talk all this time, showed Mercutio that you meant business. Although falling victim to that weakling Romeo, not impressed Tybalt, not impressed. “That is because the traitor murderer lives”. Now, back to talking about my daughter. UGH I swear if she puts up any more of a fight I will lock her in her room until this marriage, Paris is a nice man and I will see to it that they are wed. She has been showing so many fluctuations of mood, first off she hates Montague then she’s defending Romeo, I think she’s getting her period. God damn, I really don’t want to deal with this, well looks like the nurse is going to make me give her another raise. This daughter of mine is costing a lot of money. “God’s bread it makes me mad!”

Maybe I'll get it right this time

Well what an eventful night, I heard some commotion outside Juliet's window, I hope it's Paris, I would be proud to call him my step son. where has Juliet gone? I haven’t seen her all day and i noticed the nurse came back to her bedroom all in a rage. It looked like some people had beaten the crap out of her, maybe I’ll give her a bonus to make her stay. I can't seem to find My daughter anywhere, maybe I should send some sort of search party... Nah, I'll let my lady take care of that, way too much effort for a lord with so much esteemed value. I guess i should get out there and support my daughter though, I'll ask the nurse and see if I can make her to get Juliet a present of some sort for Paris. I really hope that Romeo bloke isn't going after my daughter, I hope she’s aware that i would personally chop off his lump of a head. Besides, I’m sure the Montagues won’t mind, he seems like a really depressing figure. Boy am I glad I don’t have him sulking around my palace.

The Hangover

Well, it's the day after my outrageous party, and I might be suffering from the worst hangover known to Verona. What an awesome night… I might not remember a lot of it, but from the memories I have, the party was a great success. Even though my head is still pounding along to the beat of every dance, my stomach is turning with every step and my ears are still ringing with Tybalt’s irksome rant. Lord, why can’t the boy just learn patience, or acceptance, maybe some tolerance as well? What a difficult child; however, I’m used to difficult children. I would have thought that Juliet would be excited to hear of Paris’s wish for her hand in marriage. Even if my girl is yet 14, she would make a beautiful bride, and weddings are the perfect excuse to get shit faced. Again. Awee yeaahhh.


-Capulet

PARTY

          Well after a stressful day of conflict who wants to let it loose tonight for some fun at our party! We're going to have food and dancing so come all and let it loose! Please no fighting, we want a friendly dance and we shall honor our name as Capulet! I only ask of you that you fairly judge all the ladies there (yes, Paris, we’re talking about you) give way for my young Juliet, she is growing up and we don’t want to exert too much pressure on her. Man I am pumped for this party, drinking and dancing and partying, this is going to go down in history as the biggest party of all time! Now lets go have some fun!


Cheers,
Lord Capulet